And the number is???

Best work email exchange ever:

First, Allen wrote:

[…] If, by chance, bored over the weekend and are in need of a fresh cut Christmas tree give me a call and come to Auburn, MA. (508-826-2928) I give discounts. We have donkeys!

To which I replied:

How many donkeys?

And his final reply:

Two. Mini donkeys. Cute little buggers.

Nicole Kidman Throws the Goat

Who needs Xenu, Tom? I’ve got Beelz!

(Found here)

Update: Yes, I know that “the goat” requires the thumb to be touching the middle and ring fingers… Yes, I know full well that she is actually (inadvertently) saying “i love you” in ASL (I went to RIT, for christ’s sake)… It’s called a joke, and it doesn’t necessarily need to be externally or internally consistent.

Ship it.

Went over to hang out with and last night at their place… We went for some delicious burgers at Bartley’s, and then spent the rest of the night (until like 12:40am) working on Mission “Burnout Revenge”. The game is great, Criterion implemented some perfect tweaks to the gameplay and setup that make a great game even more fun. We barely scratched the surface on the game, though, so the mission will have to be resumed at a later day.

On the way over to their place I saw this bumper sticker that I read as “ashington D.C. 2004″… I didn’t see the “W”, so I got up real close to the car to see if it was faded or whatever… I knew some shenanigans were afoot, and after I thought about it for a minute or two I realized the joke: No “W” in Washington… Hehehe… A bit too cerebral for a bumper sticker, but funny nonetheless.

Can anyone recommend some kind of gizmo to keep under my desk here at work that I can roll my feet on as a kind of massage? My feet are still kind of pussied out after barely being used for 2-3 months, and have been getting regularly sore after a normal amount of walking…

I am absolutely speechless

Remember this article in The Onion?

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That’s three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I’m telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we’re standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we’re the chumps. Well, fuck it. We’re going to five blades.

Well, in disturbing fantasy becomes reality news:

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) – Gillette has escalated the razor wars yet again, unveiling a new line of razors on Wednesday with five blades and a lubricating strip on both the front and back.

It’s even Gillette, for noodle’s sake!

It’s a Dodge Ram

For quite some time I have been telling people the story of the “Dodge Ram”, but I have been unable to get pictures of it until yesterday. For the uninitiated, for a year or so now I have seen this Dodge Ram van parked on Western Ave. in Brighton. While seemingly an ordinary van in all other respects, this one has one unusual feature: The words “DODGE RAM” spelled out in block mailbox letter stickers on the back door of the van, where the factory plastic lettering would have been. I’m not certain why this individual felt the need to replace the (assumedly missing) Dodge lettering with the stickers, but it has cracked me up every single time I’ve seen it.

Picture of the van
Close-up of the lettering