My never-ending personal hell

I’ve been out of school for just about 2 years now. While I recently started entertaining the notion of returning for grad work, I haven’t even picked a subject yet let alone seriously thought about it. But all along, pretty much since the beginning of college until the present, every few months I have the same dream (not the same in the details, but in the overall “plot”):

In the dream, I am doing something completely unrelated… Last night I was in a computer store talking with someone about the problem I am having with the Mac. After awhile, it will hit me, that I haven’t attended any of my classes this semester, and it is already several weeks into the term. I start to think about how I initially just skipped the first few classes, but then I somehow just “forgot” about classes until now, several weeks later.. I start panicking and thinking about each class and if it was possible that I could return, after 6 missed weeks of class, and still pull off a passing grade. I soon realize that isn’t going to happen and then freak the hell out. I wake up, in a cold sweat, looking at the clock still completely convinced that I have missed 6 weeks of class, and it takes me a few minutes to come to my senses…

Now, I have lots of nightmares, but this one is one of the few that persists so long after I wake up.. Normally, if the dream manages to wake me up at all, I wake up in a panic and quickly settle back down into sleep… But this school dream, I am literally freaking out for minutes after I wake… What the hell is up with that?

6 thoughts on “My never-ending personal hell

  1. I had a dream once that I killed a professor’s dog. I was so convinced of it, that when I woke up I was scared to go to his 8 am class. I turned off the alarm and went back to bed. Turns out I missed a quiz. Trying to explain why to him was interesting.

  2. i too have had such dreams. usually, though, i think i’m in high school and not college, which to me is even more annoying. except that missing class was an even huger deal than missing college classes. it was like “ohmygodi’llnevergraduateandi’llbestuckinthisshittownforeverahhh.” i’ve woken up thoroughly confused and it takes a bit to remember where i am, that i haven’t fucked up that badly, and i can still go back to sleep.

    i also have dreams about work ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. i must have some guilt stored somewhere about SOMEthing. eh.

    have fun!

  3. I think anxious school dreams are pretty common…sounds to me like the theme here is “pay attention before it’s too late” or something. Recurring dreams are interesting; clearly some part of you is trying to tell the rest of you something important. I keep having this dream that the cops have busted me and taken away my sniper rifle, but that could be just too much Unreal Tournament in my day-to-day life :)

    1. I played Counter-Strike for an entire summer… It was the last summer I lived in Rochester, 2000 I guess… Oh yeah, it was when was my boss (evil grin)..

      After the first month of Counter-Strike I started having sniper dreams, where I would just have sniper duels for the entire dream.. It started to scare me for awhile, but after awhile I said fuck it… :)

      Really, the only reason I recounted this story was to get another chance to call Bob my boss again.

      1. Do you still play? Some of my irc-friends are trying to get me to join their Tactical Ops team. As my friend bigasssuperstar tells me, having playing shoot-em-up games is ok, having shoot-em-up dreams is ok, but when it all starts coming together to form a *plan*… ;)

        1. No, I don’t really play anymore… We had a Counter-Strike revival for a month or two in this apartment, where all of us played… That was probably like 8 months ago… Then a few months ago, Octoberish, we were on a one month Urban Terror kick… My usual pattern with games is that I will go for complete immersion for a month or two and then I OD and don’t play games for awhile..

          I used to be REALLY good at CStrike though. ;)

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