Don’t worry, it’s not your fault, but sometimes the little people do things that piss me off. As supreme overlord of the galaxy, nee universe, I understand that your feeble minds sometimes are unable to grasp my wants and desires. It is this motivation that drove me to create a list of some of the things which make me crazy:
- People who like wolves, including people who wear those godawful hick wolf t-shirts. But people who use a picture of wolves as the background of their webpage? I hate them alot.
- Furries. ‘Nuff Said.
- Perpetually depressed people. Sure, you might be clinical, and if I know you, I might even feel a pang of concern, but it doesn’t change the fact that my insticts tell me that you need to cheer the fuck up.
- Anime. You can animate it, but it is still kiddie porn.
- Kids on LiveJournal who take a picture of someone, themselves, some famous star, etc. and overwrite the picture with some saying, lyric, or empassioned message. 20x multiplier if the image is animated. 10x multiplier if the person’s name is xxx<insert something here>xxx. Here. are. some. examples.
- The word blog. I fucking hate that word. If you speak it to me, 10x multiplier. It’s a billion times worse spoken vs. written
- People who are good at Fighting Video Games. I suck at them, you should too.
- Religious Zealots. This is an inclusive list, starting at Door-to-Door Jehovah’s to Osama Bin Laden. If you quietly believe in your religion, good on ya. If you occasionally mention to me the merits of you religion, that’s ok too. If you go out of your way to convince me of the one true path? You get spaced.
- Anti-abortion activists. Sure you have free speech, but if you’re an idiot you shouldn’t get to use it. If I had the necessary “baby-carrying” equipment, and accidentally conceived a baby, I don’t think I would choose to have an abortion. Note the emphasis. That doesn’t mean I should impose my views and beliefs on others. 100x multiplier if you get in peoples faces at clinics. 10000x multiplier if you get in fights with escorts, etc. Infinite multiplier if you are violent.
- People who smell without excuse. You’re a runner, or a participant in a sport, or someone wholly unlike me who actually exerts physical effort. You have a funk. That’s A-OK, assuming that at some point in the near future you take a shower/bath to eliminate said funk. You’re someone like me (you know, computer nerd) who simply doesn’t bathe because they are “working on more important things”? Bullshit. Take a fucking bath. Here’s a hint: We are here to breed, and if you don’t take a shower, the only woman you will be breeding with is Marge the Trash Heap.
- People who keep strange pets, then complain that they can’t find anyone to take care of them when they want to get away.
- Smokers. I used to say that people who smoke in the privacy of their own home didn’t bother me, but then I moved into this apartment building, and I can smell smoke in the halls, and sometimes smoke smell from an adjacent apartment blows in through my open window. I therefore revise my opinion, and people who smoke in the privacy of their own wet blanket don’t bother me.
That’s all for now. I’m sure I will come up with more later.